top of page

About

10.JPG
DrKEOf07Svi1zLIUrgqo_Hzial673u49j6T2C.jpg
221149413_344733127116692_1999999501713903338_n.jpg

Madellene Peñaflor

My personal story

Life, Hope and Faith

It is only when you look back that you'll realized how good God has been.
 

I am a Christian since 2013, but even before that, I used to be a regular Churchgoer in my hometown. In my seven years of Christian life, there are so many ups and downs along the way and during those moments, many times I am tempted to give up and surrender. However, knowing my identity, and remembering how good our God is to me, I never even dare to turn my back and go on that road of no return. Every time I fall short, God’s grace is extending even more and during those moments when I feel so alone, God’s word became my best companion.


Way back 2003 we lost our Papa in a tragic intentional gun shooting incident. That event changed completely the trajectory of our life. It is a series of financial and emotional battle, but God touched my mom's heart to let us go to Sundays schools which sow the seed of faith in my heart at a very young age.


I lost connection to the Lord in high school, however, because my paternal family are devoted Roman Catholics, but in my heart there is still a long search of meaning and purpose, and a deep longing for someone that is bigger and mightier than all the circumstances in my life. I remember my young self serving as a commentator in a mass service in my high school and envying my classmates taking up communion thinking that communion will bring me closer to God. At that point I tend to ask God “Where is He?” That is when the Lord brought my mentor and Pastor to my school last 2013. 


However, in College I lost God again. It is really hard to spend my time in my aunt’s home where I feel like I am not welcome. I failed grades, I suffered depression and yet no one hears my silent cry. In my inner turmoil, I feel like suicidal. That time, I tend to jump from one cell groups to another in search of a home.


In 2015, I heed to my pastor’s advice to find a church in Manila and that led my journey to Doulos for Christ. That time, November 2015, I decided to give my life completely to the Lord in a G12 National Conference in the Philippines. The Conference was entitled “New Beginning” which is exactly what happened to my life. This is the start of my struggle to fight for my faith. It is even against the persecution from my own family, but later on they see how God is good in my life. That March the next year, I was first baptized to Christian faith.


The greatest thing that God redeem me from that time is from my prideful heart. He really humbles me down way back in College for from an honor student, I experienced even flanking a subject. I also failed Board Exams. I was really devastated and tend to question God why when it is almost turned out as planned, why did He failed me. Then Pastor John told me, when I finally return to my home church, that in Japan, it is not all about your education.  That is when I realized that through brokenness that is only when we will realized that we are nothing without God. However, that is not only the end of my struggles in faith but just a start.


Before, I grew up making my parents and all other people proud of me because of my academic achievements. That I thought before that academic excellence is what makes me important and what makes my life meaningful. I may not be rich, but I am smart. That is what I thought. I remember crying when someone get passed me on exams and I remember my mom feeling disappointed when I didn’t get the Top 1. In my college graduation, I also saw in my mom’s eyes the disappointment when I didn’t get on the Honor Roll. So I became bitter and jealous when someone became better than what I had become. It makes me frustrated and desperate. That is also the time that I tend to question myself what I had been doing all these time. Yeah, I graduated College, but what now. That is when it occur to me that being wise in school doesn’t mean that I am also smart in life. 


Many times I feel so caged. My family wants me to achieve things that I couldn’t and I can’t. Most of the times I feel like my value is just based on my achievements in life or the amount of money in my bank account, that when I didn’t get a certain title or didn’t earn a certain amount of money, I feel like I am a failure and the most worthless person in the world. There are also times when I feel like maybe the problem is also myself, that if only I became more generous. And that makes me feel awful and guilty.


It is only through God that I find a sense of belongingness and acceptance that look way passed what I have achieved and accomplished in life. It is only in Christ that I feel that I am welcome and it does not matter the things that I could and could not for in the Body of Christ, I surely have a role to play. In Christ, I am perfect and no matter how small things, in God’s eyes it is already everything. Yes, many times I still feel pressure, but every time I look unto God, He is always reminding me the reason why I am here on a certain place, or why I am on a certain job, or belong on a certain family. Career is all just a means to survive this planet but the Truth is it is not my purpose nor my identity. My value is not measured up on the amount of my paycheck, but on how I became a good steward on this life and the life that God entrusted on me. Yes, there are still ups and downs of faith but it is normal occurrence because we are still living in the presence of sin, but sin should not bothered us if we are focus on Him.


If you are reading this today, I want to encourage you to cling on to God and dig deeper on His words that you may grow in faith and in your relationship with Him. If you are being corrected, then it is okay to humble down and repent to every wrongdoing that we had made and know that God loves you that is why He is always pruning us to the things that are harmful to us, and molding us into the best version of our own selves.


With that, I want to share to you this passage from the book of Hebrews 12:


1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

​

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a]

​

7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
 

All About Love & Trust

(In a Quest of Finding For A Meaning Lies A True Story of Compassion, Trust and Love)

~ I was depressed and especially lonely (because of failure or discontentment or boredom to life). That is to my shame, from someone who constantly experience the goodness and love of God. For me it is not enough. Nothing could be enough, and the world is unpleasant. It is displeasing. But my definition of provision is different from God's definition of provision . Sometimes I hate God's way of training His people but He will not allow things more than we could ever bear. I was guilty of thinking wrong things when He let me get to the 99th Batch of School of Christ International (SCI)-Philippines . And guilty again when after learning, here I am, about to lose in the oblivion. But God is good because though the problem is the loop of my emotions and anxiety that always been my stumbling block, He always lift me up even before I hit the rock bottom. I was praying, "If only I can tell someone, without feeling that i am being a discouragement and not being an expense. . " I thought it is just a normal day, facing laptop in the office, reconciling inventories, bored and lonely. She is from Naia 3,. And an acting manager. Suddenly she shared to me how she volunteered to be assigned in Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Philippines (CBTL)- Cebu before and it is near to church where many baristas were saved. Yes she is a Christian and the answer I'd been asking for. She told me how she wants to study HRM again, but this time in New Zealand , but she don’t want to be far from God. She shared how she was save and eager to know more Christians while saving others as well. Every time she have her duty at the airport, she met several missionaries and pastors. We are similar in many ways I think and she told me how it is alright to sometimes share your thoughts and agree with me not to discourage others with personal issues.

​

What I learned? God is there always hearing my complaints, and His way of correcting me is sometimes comes through reverse psychology, . When I thought as always that life could be bad, he will show me something good, making me feel awful of thinking bad at all. Who is He after all? The God who understands and love me to the degree unknown to every men. Looking at His holiness makes me feel sorry and dirty, but God sometimes use our dirty hearts as dirty as rags and transformed it into something that is more beautiful and useful. I believe that I don’t have a pure heart as all of us , but God's heart is pure. Sometimes praying could be hard too, like most days, but kneeling down wouldn’t be so bad after all. My prayer is for us all to guard our hearts. Emotional instability is a terrible battle that could be use by the enemy to instill doubts in our lives, but Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not may with your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledged Him and He will make your paths straight. Thanks to God for bringing me a friend like Marsha who has a pure heart and make me remember how it is good to commune with fellow believers. :)

____________________________________________________________

The Art Of Trust

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know . Remember the Lord in everything you do, and He will show you the right way. Never let yourself think that you are wiser than you are; simply obey the Lord and refuse to do wrong. If you do , it will be like good medicine , healing your wounds and easing your pain. Honor the Lord making him an offering from the best of all that your land produces. If you do, your barns will be filled with grain, and you have too much wine to store it all.”
-Proverbs 3:5-10

​

It is not our understanding but the wisdom of God that let us get by and withstand all so trust Him, for He moves in mysterious yet special way and His correction sometimes comes from goodness that is immeasurable . Use everything from the inside- talent or gifts or resources or whatever it is - for His glory, and we will be fruitful that we cannot contain it but to share either the blessings or the insights to others.

MILESTONES

  *My College Graduation Photos with Mama, May 2, 2017. (Bachelor of Science in Accountancy, Polytechnic University of the Philippines-Sta. Mesa, Batch 2017) Photo taken at PICC.

 *With Financial Reporting and Inventory Team of TGI at Wingstop  UP Town Center

 *With Financial Reporting and Inventory Team of TGI at Wingstop  UP Town Center

Ms. Tin and myself at Nono's UTC

*Me as Executive Assistant to Sinag Publishing & Printing Services w/ OJTs Anna, Julia, Jorge and Ate Amber
__________________________________________________________________________

The Art Of Love

“For God so love the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16

​

What is love that God made man equal?


What is love that even though He is God, He don't equate Himself as God but came as a man to experience the same suffering as we had- the same rejection, same pain, same challenges.

​

William Wilberforce even said that "God made man equal"

Myself at Wingstop UP Town Center

Our long search for something that can fill up the voids in our hearts made us long for love, for power, for money. We exchange the provisions of the Almighty in self-reliance, that, we think that through our own moves we will regain self-worth, that we will move forward no matter what.

 

History even made it clear that out of our knowledge many people out there have been being branded as slaves- as if they no longer belong to God but to people.

 

What is really love? That people today think that somebody always has his own agenda, that people have their own ounces against someone. What is love that people afford to hate, or deceive, or lie just for the sake of in-equating somebody or anybody else.

 

I believe that dignity doesn't mean that because everyone do engage in deceit you keeps silent or be swayed. Dignity is all about doing something right even no one else will. Dignity is making yourself equal to the poor and making someone rich in spirit even you yourself needs somebody. Dignity doesn't allow dirty works and never let people go down the drain. Dignity is not self-seeking nor saving just only yourself, but it is lifting up everybody. Dignity is love.

 

 

What is really love ? That people today rather drink complacency rather than praying in solitude. What is love, that people are being force to revolt just for the sake of peace and sovereignty. What is love that people tend to war and to abuse just for the sake of what they thought is right and what they thought is true. What is love that people killed for the sake of religion. What is love, that people shed tears, even today for the silent abuse that they couldn't take, and for hiding their heart's content to speak up for what their faith dictates. What is love that people suffer.

 

I believe God is love. He is not hiding from us. We all just have to seek so that we will find, to knock so that the door will open. Love is family. It is home. For that reason that God is love, God's loving arms is also our home.

Love is Charity.


1 Corinthians 13 Says:

​

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
King James Version (KJV)

Love is not a choice. It is every human beings inherent worth. To love is not just being human or humane, it is our spirituality that opts us to love. Why? Because God loves us first and it is being shown when His blood poured out in the cross.

John 6:44 New International Version (NIV)
44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day.


So we love even people don't loves us in return. We share God not for people to listen, but we share God because He loves us first. He died in the cross as an assurance that we will never be hurt again. (John 3:16)

When we are in pain because nobody listens, remember that God has a plan and it all works out for the good of those who loves Him. God will made it beautiful in its time. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)


So people will also see the beauty when it is the right time. Rest assured my friend, Love can be hurting because you'll never get hurt when you don't care. The greatness of love is when somebody disappoints you, you still accept them, made them realize what is wrong and still gives them hope. Love can move mountains and to love, in it's sense is to have faith.
___________________________________________

As I look back on the above stories, I realized that I am more than capable and blessed more than how I viewed my life to be. Capable because I am able to held on to God’s promises while accepting His challenge for me to make a stand and fight a good fight of faith ( though it is not perfect yet up to this day), and blessed because God allows me to experience all those things that helps me to grow as a person and in the knowledge of and relationship with Him all the more. It takes two years for me in my aunt’s home to admit the faith, to which and where hope I found and a year and a half for me to endure being barely in the church because of persecution from home before I finally make a stand and God make room for me as my refuge always.
Now, I may be not in the Promise Land of God for me yet, but my prayer is for God to help me endure the training and the testing until such time that I am fully mature in the life of Christ.
If I would have a chance to speak to young women like me today who experience the same emotional struggle this is what I will going to say:

​

To all the girls who could read this. . .
I know you always strive to obey God even though it is so hard. I know that you want to inspire a whole lot of people and go out there, and make a difference to the whole world even you yourself needs an inspiration and motivation to continue with the faith that you profess.
Sometimes walking with the Lord feels like you are alone. In fact, I know too, that you can’t even feel His presence and you question if He is even there. I know that you are so close to crying but you rather not too because you can’t let people see how broken you are and that weakness means that even you, loses hope on His miracles. I know. I know. You are tired and the world is even more tiring. It aches to know that even your love ones couldn’t understand how you strive to love the Lord in spite of how weak and depress you get to be.
I know and I understand because that is always been my battle. I even question God and get mad at God on how poor I become and how pathetic and stupid I get to be with all my financial battles and failures while all people surrounding me are already on the peak of their race getting the trophy of their hard work. I always tell God that I did all I can do but things were not still enough. Most of the time, I always thought of dying myself, to which people do not know of course. Because my biggest challenger is my own emotion and it is a constant feud within.

But you know what keeps me going? It is my fear for Jesus. Knowing that Jesus died for my sins, I couldn’t afford to waste this life that He had given me when He first love me. I always tried my best to hate Him but all I get from Him is His grace and mercy.
During my times of weaknesses, all I can do is to rely in Him because who else will help me except Him. I believe that God made us weak at times in order for us to realize that we cannot do things on our own might and strength, but only by the Spirit of God.
Many times, we are tampered down by the challenges and bad things that happened to us, but do not give up. Do not be hampered by things that are seen, but instead, find strength on things that are unseen.
In the end, I hope that these words from the Word of the Lord will help you find your way back to Him:


“But we have this hidden treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us (v.7) So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day (v. 16).  – 2 Corinthians 4:7,16

​

May you continue with the faith. God bless you more and more!

​

-Madellene Kong Peñaflor

This blog post is a blog for Compassion Bloggers under July 2019 Writing Prompt “Cheer Up!”

        Compassion Bloggers is a ministry of Compassion in Jesus’ name whose mission is to release children from poverty .

        Catch Compassion bloggers at https://compassionbloggers.com/

My Adventures of Faith (Stories of Love, Compassion and Freedom of Faith)

UP: Journey going home from SCI Flora with Ptr. John, Ate Mariael and Ate Jane. Picture taken at Windmills of Bangui, Ilocos Norte ; DOWN: One of SCI Classes held at Church of God, Flora, Apayao August of 2018

CKSC Bible Distribution

Ate Mariel, Kuya Israel and I on Ptr. Roland and Ptr. Ruben House Outreach in Cagayan

*Ptr. Jo Sayco, Ptr. Liwliwa Mendejar, Me and Ate Mariael going to Church Of God  Outreach on the Mountain for Sunday Service with the natives

SCI Batch 99th- “More Than Conqueror in Christ” with SCI Staffs (From front left to right) Ptr. and Pra Fred and Rose Constantino, Pra. Zen Reyes, Ptr. Roland Tabilangon, Dir. Fernando Reyes, Ptr. Philip Pataguan,  Ptr. Ruben Armandico and Bro. Jay-R, on graduation ceremony, August 30, 2019.

SCI Philippines'
Journey

*My Sisters in faith: Myself with Ate Mariel and Joice in SCI Batch 99th Testimonial Banquet, Church of God, Poblacion West, Flora, Apayao
 

Left: Sharing my Faith to my alma mater as a Guest Speaker: Ms. Geraldine Baliber and I  in 19th Completion Ceremony of Christ the King School of Cabuyao, March 28 , 2019; Right:  Home Cell with Cell Family at Chrissa Mae’s House, Mabuhay Homes, Mamatid, Cabuyao City, Laguna

My Remembrance Token as a donor participant for CBTL Philippines yearly Blood Letting Project 2019 in Partnership with Philippine Blood Center, April 23, 2019.

bottom of page